EMBRACE YOURSELF/SELVES

 

            One of the well-known verses of your Holy Bible says to love thy God with all thy heart and soul then love your neighbor as thyself. 

           

            What does it mean to love thyself and why is it so difficult some may wonder?  Perhaps before we respond to this we might first share some ideas with you on Self/Multiple Selves and the Authentic Self.  Let us begin by saying that although your soul is expressing itself through your present personality which you give names to as well as gender, that your present personality is by no means the only you who exists.  The you which expresses itself in this lifetime as your ego, which we like to call the little me, is only one very small expression of the multidimensional selves who make up your entity self, oversoul, or complete self.

           

            In truth there are many yous living inside you as well as in other realms beyond the third dimension.  Your own beloved Higher Self is a part of your soul identity and making contact with this Greater You is the key to achieving personal fulfillment and happiness.  You are aware of some of these selves, are you not?  For example, how many of you do not feel these different selves at odds within your being at times when you are in the process of making a decision.  The different you’s literally can have different needs, wishes, and wants.  Often you will say things like part of me wants to do such and such but another part desires the contrary.  These little voices who talk to you are your different selves who often have contrary qualities, needs, idiosyncracies and the like. 

           

            For example, the channel, Michael, is aware of several inner characters to whom he even gives names.  He has one inner character he calls Bernice who he personifies as

 his feminine, artistic, intuitive side.  This part of him is extremely dreamy, sensual, and

creative.  It (she) writes poetry, sings, frolics in the woods enjoying the beauty of nature, and constantly gives in to emotional whims.  She loves intense, deep conversations and to explore the many aspects of love.  She also likes to let her hair hang down so to speak and act jovial.  Michael has even let his hair grow long to indulge this part of himself.  Another inner character he calls Mikir.  He is a calm detached monk who is content spending long hours alone contemplating the mysteries of the universe and meditating.  He loves the silence and is not moved by emotional whims.  He prefers the company of the fields, forests and animals to people.  He is very much a hermit and would much rather read philosophy and spiritual books than to socialize.  At one point Michael indulged this part of himself by living in an ashram and wore his hair near bald.  He became a vegetarian and participated in fasting on a weekly basis. 

           

            Still another character is a clownish character he calls Pip.  Pip is the life of the party comedian and is only happy when creating mischief, telling jokes, and making people laugh.  He writes silly limericks and is known to burst into song at the most unexpected moments at parties and social events.  He crawls on the floor and frolics with children.  Pip was given the arena quite often when Michael taught small children in many schools and when he ran a singing telegram business.

           

            He has another character he calls Little Dionysus.  This part of him loves to indulge in the senses and has an insatiable appetite for the pleasures of the flesh.  One day Michael was known to have what your commercials call a “Big Mac Attack.”  He had two Big Macs, an order of large French fries, and his diet coke, since he dislikes the sugary taste of coke.  Still hungry, but too embarrassed to order another duo at the same restaurant, he actually drove to the McDonalds on the other side of town and indulged once more in what is often referred to as “pigging out” by having two more Big Macs.  Another time he ate an entire large pizza.  One day he indulged in a half bottle of rum.  There were times when he slept 14 hours a day.  When his Little Dionysus is given the arena, neither the words moderation nor temperance exist in his vocabulary.  Little Dionysus seems to know only one word, excess.

           

            Fortunately, he has another self who he calls Jeremy Jock.  This character  has a passion for running or the channel would probably weigh more than an elephant.  On his nineteenth birthday at three in the morning he jogged 12 miles, and it is nothing for him to jog seven or eight miles even now in his mid forties. 

           

            A different character he calls “Many Legs and Mouths” because of his love for different languages and traveling to different cultures.  When Michael began studying foreign languages in college, he was so taken in and fascinated by the different sounds and styles that he not only learned fluent French in less than two years and received a scholarship to study there, he also took up Spanish and German and later taught himself Italian. 

           

            When he began writing a journal in college, he went for three years without missing a single daily entry.  That led to further writing.  Being an extreme “all or nothing” type of person, or persons shall we say, he later began writing poetry, essays, short stories, and this led to novels.  Naturally, he had to write poetry about nearly every subject under the sun along with short stories and essays.  In his late twenties it was nothing for him to sit for 12 hours at the computer only stopping for bathroom breaks.        

           

            Michael has another character he calls “Chandy” in reference to opera singers supposed to have the ability to break chandeliers.  When he began studying voice his freshman year of college, he read book after book to familiarize himself with the operas. Not only was he content to learn the basic art songs and arias in the tenor repertoire, he had to learn the repertoire sung by the other voices.  Variety is always the spice of life to such people, and the more variety the better.  Classical music was not enough so he learned dozens of pop songs, musicals, ballads, and gospel songs, and later began writing his own songs.

 

            Excessive energy and drive can be channeled into positive directions as well as destructive ones.  Admittedly so, not everyone has such inclinations to extremes as this particular individual, but everyone to greater or lesser extents does possess different inner characters with their own personalities.  We simply use this particular channel because Michael is one person with a more than average amount of people living inside of him.             

 

            There are many other examples we could have used as well, and you no doubt can name a few such people who possess multiples selves so inclined to extremes.  You may wonder why one person could have so many people living inside them and be such a complex person, capable of sustaining many personalities, while another person seems content living a simple life with only a few contrasting personalities/inner characters.  One explanation is that of “reincarnation”.  We offer the thought that not everyone on terra has spent the same amount of lives there.  Some of you are merely older souls, meaning you have more experience on the earth via living different life times there.  Another explanation for extreme contrasting personalities within one particular individual is that in previous lifetimes, the lessons, soul missions and goals were not completed so one has to return to complete incomplete duties from before.

 

             Each person has the opportunity in each lifetime to pay off many soul debts or karma as some refer to it, and to complete the goals they set out for themselves before incarnating.  However, sometimes, the souls become confused, lost, or even lethargic and do not perform the roles and duties they vowed to complete.  When the lessons have been neglected it becomes necessary to repeat them.  And some souls are very adamant about completing unfinished business.  Some try to avoid the lessons and may strike out at anyone offering assistance to them.  When a person is particularly troubled mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or even physically out of balance, there is a good chance this soul has put off needed lessons and experiences for more than one lifetime. 

           

            To become whole and complete it is important to become familiar with these

different parts, inner characters, or selves as we like to refer to them.  Becoming aware

and integrating them in your life is not an indication that you are schizophrenic or suffering from the mental multiple personality syndrome such as was portrayed in the famous case known as “Sybil”, the woman with sixteen personalities.

           

            It is possible for the psyche to fragment itself into various complexes which can develop into separate personalities such as happened with Sybil.  But this is very rare and usually only happens where there is tremendous emotional psychic trauma oftentimes accompanied by physical abuse; the horrible, painful memories of which the conscious mind tries to repress.  We are not speaking of such mental dissociating where the

conscious mind is unaware of these other selves who surface and take over the personality in rare cases, but rather the multiple selves who make up your personality which many of you are aware of at different degrees and levels.

           

            Several of your psychological movements and shamanic teachings acknowledge and emphasize the need and benefits derived from contacting and relating to the different selves within you.  The popular emphasis on emotional healing and getting in touch with the inner child is based on an understanding that this creative spontaneous little child you once were is still inside you and can bring joy and happiness when allowed to express itself.  The inner child is one, and in many cases there are more than one, of your inner selves, and unfortunately many feel the need to repress this precious inner child, feeling that adults must not be too child like lest others laugh at them or look down upon them.

           

            By the same token, when you see an adult whose inner child expresses itself through playfulness, innocent affection, and spontaneity, most enjoy this innocent warmth and may even envy those brave enough to let their inner child out.  There are in actuality several inner children inside you, and some people have written stories about their inner characters giving them names.  Fairy tales and myths often contain stories which depict the qualities and creative dimensions of the soul expressed through several characters.  Your Jungian school of Psychology has made great strides in pointing out how many such tales represent different parts of the self or psyche.  To a certain extent the authors of such tales and myths are projecting their inner selves onto the characters they create.

           

            We would say there is no real mystery of the self.  There is only what mortals

perceive as mystery because they simply have not taken the inner soul journey to meet

their multiple selves.  This is often known as the process of Individuation whereas an individual makes contact with and bonds with the vast, rich unconscious self.  Your unconscious is composed of many layers and dimensions wherein dwell many of your multiple selves which influence you in subtle and direct conscious and unconscious ways.  Within the realm of the unconscious also dwells what many refer to as reincarnation and future selves, different personalities you have been or will be in numerous life times.  Some refer to these lives as past lives or future lives.  As many of you know time is a linear third dimensional creation.  The has been, is and always will be.  The soul knows and experiences only the eternal present. With this understanding in mind one can better comprehend the concept of past and future selves, all of whom you contact via developing and utilizing your intuitive soul faculties.

           

            In actuality there are many multiple selves influencing you in ways you do not realize.  The oversoul expresses itself through many different personalities through various time periods on terra and even on different planets and worlds.  You can tap into these personalities should you desire, and let us add, that to do so can be a very enlightening, enriching experience.  Most of you do this in your dreams and other altered states of consciousness you tap into.  When engaging yourselves in creative or spiritual endeavors your multiple selves are influencing you, although you may refer to this influence as the creative process or inspiration.  The Muse which so directs and inspires artists, poets and such is not an external spirit who whispers and extends her inspirations in moments of receptivity; rather she is part and parcel of the artist’s own soul and psyche.  When you tune more into the soul you tap infinite creativity which far transcends any individual personality.

           

            It is not imperative that you consciously accept your multiple selves/personalities under these terms.  If it is more comfortable to refer to them as characteristics or aspects of your personality that is acceptable for in a sense they are that as well.  Just as you can enjoy a friendship with another person via correspondence without ever meeting them in person, likewise you can enjoy your different parts of self  without naming them as such.  The point of wholeness comes with the acceptance and contact made with the various parts of the self.  However, we would add that many enjoy the personal encounter of naming the different parts of self and relating to them as such.  However, you may choose to name and accept these parts of your self, such contact with the multiple selves provide warmth, companionship, and guidance.  People juggle many different personalities, and there are always more at your disposition to help and encourage and spice up your life whenever you desire this.

           

            Michael recalls being at a party one time and meeting a young woman who remained more to herself.  One of the animated young men kept boasting about what a “party animal” he was, and how he attended parties five nights out of each week.  I just love being around so many different people he said.  When Michael struck up a conversation with the young lady, they both had a laugh over the young man’s remarks.  “I go to parties about once every three years,“ she told him.  “There are so many people inside me that I have a big enough job tending to all of them.“  When Michael looked at her with a gaze of intrigue and fascination, the lady recoiled and said, “Well, what I mean is that I enjoy my own company and prefer it to most people’s.  Does that make me crazy

she asked?  Not at all, Michael replied and they proceeded to a very interesting, conversation about schizophrenia, multiple personalities, and what they called “normal craziness.” 

           

            This illustration points out that it is not necessary to go to a party to meet someone new and make a new friend, although it is a very valid means.  Likewise, by stilling the mind and calming the self via time in the silence, meditation, hypnosis, and other means, you can meet some of your multiple selves and make new friends.  By quieting your mind you allow the soul to expand itself so that its presence permeates more of you.  When this happens spiritual and creative breakthroughs and expansion are the results.  Artists, poets, musicians, scientists, etc merely tap deeper levels of the unconscious mind or higher mind where these multiple selves interact with the personality.  The knowledge filters through the personality in receptive moments thus resulting in an artistic creation, scientific breakthroughs or discoveries, or other creative realizations.  The multiple selves often attempt to make contact during dreams and reveries because there are usually less distractions, mental chaos, restlessness, and other encumbrances during these quieter more receptive times.       

           

            When you get focused in certain areas or directions to complete a certain task you often are allowing another self to express itself for whatever amount of time you invest in the endeavor.  For example, when the channel writes poetry his poet personality is expressing itself.  When he speaks French or Spanish his French and Spanish selves are expressing.  And often times you have indeed lived past lives where you spoke another language.  Several selves from past lives in a certain region can be influencing you.  This is why some people are drawn to certain languages and cultures and indifferent to others.  When there have been several lives spent in a certain area the attraction is naturally stronger.  It is not surprising that Michael learned fluent French in two years.  Having spent at least five lives in France, he had several other selves who he was in contact with at subconscious levels, who were helping him learn, or rather remember French in this lifetime as Michael.

           

            We remind you that each of your personalities are servants to you.  You are never a servant to any personality.  By living a balanced grounded spiritual earthly life you will attract only the positive qualities of your multiple selves. 

           

            In experimenting with multiple personality contact, if you find moods or thoughts of a negative nature overpowering you, this simply can mean you have met one of your darker selves which Jung referred to as “the shadow”.  It can also mean you are simply in a bad mood.  One way to suspect strong influence of another self or selves is to tune in and check out the degree of intensity of your emotional reactions.  Moods and reactions of extreme and often unnatural proportions often indicate other you’s are responding.  This can explain some irrational or hysterical emotional reactions to circumstances or situations that have no rational basis.  A person who drowned in a recent past life might have a natural aversion to swimming. 

 

            Reactions can be positive or negative.  Michael, upon hearing opera sung the first time when a teacher took him to a summer music festival in Aspen, Colorado, sat spellbound for the concert, and swore afterwards that he had to learn to sing like that.  Later past life regressions and readings revealed he had been involved with opera in two past incarnations.  When he went to France, as his bus drove down the Champs Elysees, he said out of the blue  “Je suis chez moi”, (I am home) to his own surprise.  Later past life readings confirmed he had spent several lives there.  Likewise, he nearly fainted in front of the Jeu de Paume Impressionist Art Museum and refused to enter. A later reading with a renowned Astrologer whom he had never met before, and who knew nothing about him, revealed his past life as a struggling female Impressionist painter.  So when he said I am home.  He was speaking the truth, only it was another “I” that was speaking.  He just was not conscious of this at the time.  We say that deja-vu is very real and most of you have experienced it at one time or another. 

           

            Michael’s jaw dropped when the psychic astrologer told him that he as Bernice modeled to keep body and soul together so she could paint, and even then the chauvinistic men of the time would never accept her as an equal.  In this lifetime, around the age of ten,  Michael would shut himself up in his room and put a towel on his head and pretend he had very long hair.  He would strut about, posing in various modeling positions, and playacting would talk to men, saying things like “How dare you treat me any less than an equal.  I am worth more than this.”

           

            He would fill with a nearly uncontrollable rage every time he was around chauvinistic macho men.  He recalls how angry he would get when he was on the college track team and some of the guys would joke and brag about their sexual conquests and exploits, telling the other guys which girls were so easy to be had.  How this would enrage him.  In school he always felt sympathetic to girls, and from as early as he can remember girls came to him with their problems and confided to him.  It’s like part of him knew at a very young age that part of him was one of the girls.  When the astrologer told him that he had indeed been a woman in his most recent past lifetime, he sat mesmerized in fascination.  It somehow seemed strange to hear, yet somehow so very true.  It rang a cord in his soul and helped answer questions he had been struggling with for years. 

           

            Some past life selves are so adamant about getting self expression that one may even choose to have a sex change.  Michael considered it at one point, but part of him also believed he was born a man for reasons, and he wanted to grow to accept and love his masculinity. For men and women torn with sexual confusion and identity, getting in touch with their past selves can be a most healing and beneficial experience.

           

            Sometimes, the soul will choose a life of the opposite sex if it believes it can better accomplish the ends and goals it has set out for itself.  But once the soul has been born into a human body, oftentimes the memories and unresolved trauma of the recent incarnation can be so powerfully overwhelming that the personality more easily identifies with the characteristics of the gender of  its previous incarnation.  Much psychological counseling and assistance are needed to help the troubled soul and personality come to grips with who it is in this lifetime, and to find out whether it feels more comfortable in expressing itself more in a male or female body.  Although Michael has Bernice and other female inner selves within his being, he also has many strong masculine selves as well.  These powerful masculine and feminine selves were at odds and at battle with each other for years.  Choosing to have a sex change ultimately would not have made him happy so he decided against it, concluding that he could be a man and still express his artistic, sensual, imaginative, maternal, and creative feminine sides.           

           

            We do not say that every homosexual or bisexual had a life as the opposite gender in their recent past life.  This is often, but not always the case.  And reincarnation is not the only explanation for the origins and complexities of homosexuality.  Yes, genetic makeup, environmental influences and one’s childhood have their place as possible explanations for some causes of homosexuality.  But there are occasions and situations where neither genetic makeup, environmental, or childhood influence and experiences seem to be able to justify a child becoming homosexual. 

           

            Michael did experience a difficult childhood where his father was overly domineering, brutal, and abusive, and his mother passive.  His father was never there for him emotionally and constantly belittled him.  Yet, Michael has four brothers, all of whom grew up in the same household and they are heterosexual. 

           

            We suggest that the concept of reincarnation offers an additional explanation for homosexuality, and past life regressions can offer much insight to assist homosexuals, transvestites, transsexuals, and bisexuals to better understand the origins of their sexual dispositions.  There are many drag queens and transvestites who parade about simply as a means to express a self they had been before and wish to remain in contact with, although many are unconscious of the causes of their various attractions.

    

            There have been men who have been happily married for years who start having dreams and/or fantasies of dressing in women’s clothing, or find themselves suddenly sexually attracted to men.  As a psychic, Michael counseled several.  One man said, “I don’t know what came over me.  I was window shopping in downtown Chicago one winter day.  I saw this particular mannequin in a striking pose, and I could not get her out of my mind from that day forth.  I started having dreams of me dressing up like her, until

finally it became so overwhelming that I actually went in the store and bought the very outfit the mannequin was wearing, telling the sales person I was buying the clothing for my wife.”  He said he had no desire to have sex with a man, but feeling the female clothing against him made him feel sexy and exciting. 

           

            Another man said he had always had fantasies of him being a woman and a man making love to him, but he had never had any homosexual experiences, although sometimes when he and wife made love, his wife in the dominant position, he’d imagine her being a man and he being a woman.  In the first reading Michael did for him, he saw a dark haired, striking woman and asked the man if this was his wife, sister, or a friend.  The man grew red in the face, but with a twinkle in his eye, he said, she is me, well part of me.  The man had no desire for a past life reading or regression; he was merely content to have someone to share his fantasies and tales with.  He admitted that he did not feel comfortable going to a priest or a therapist so he decided to see a psychic just to have someone to talk with.  He expressed that he later joined an on line transvestite group of men who would share their tales on line then meet once a year at a party where they would dress up in their favorite outfits. 

           

            Some people have no need of knowledge of the origins for such unusual behavior patterns; they merely desire the company of like minded people and to be acknowledged and accepted.  Others can yearn with the need to understand why they are who they are and spend their entire lives seeking answers.  In both cases, we say that “other selves” are exerting tremendous influences in their lives.

           

            There are many ways to become aware of past lives for those interested.  You can  become conscious of your past lives via inducing altered states of mind.  However, we do not recommend taking artificial stimulants and drugs.  Although one can attain altered states via this route, far more often, the results are confusion, personality distortions or, if overly abused, mental breakdowns or even insanity can result.  One might be able to transcend time and see into past, or even future lives via taking drugs, but one is also vulnerable to enter deluded states of mind where hallucinations run rampant.  Some have been deluded to the point where they felt justified to deny responsibility for negative actions by blaming it on another personality.  Some do this when they utilize statements like “The devil made me do it,” or “I don’t know what came over me.”

           

            We would like to open their minds to the idea that the only devils are those unloved, repressed parts of the self or the selves which people far too often shove away in the subconscious.  It is possible to become partially, or in rarer cases totally possessed, but far more often one has become possessed by one of their own selves instead of some outer influence or malevolent spirit.  In ordinary circumstances most people have the mental and moral restraint to prevent the negative influence and power of their negative selves from overstepping their boundaries and taking over.  But in cases where one has not learned to accept and deal with rage and repressed emotions, indulging in drugs can numb the brain inhibitors and make it easier for various stages of possession to occur.  So when someone acts in a fit of rage and commits an act that later shocks even themselves, you can be sure there was another unhealed self involved in the act. 

           

            Everyone responds to trauma and disappointments in different ways.  A parent may discourage a child interested in pursuing a career on the stage or in writing due to

fear that the child cannot sustain a successful living as a writer or actor.  A parent may become angry and in an outburst say, “You will never amount to anything in a career like that.  It is too risky and you are not that good anyway” in hopes of discouraging them, and in their estimation, bring the child to their good reason and practical sense.  One child may defy them and insist on pursuing their dream.  Somehow the conflict and tension feeds their ambition, and they adopt the “I will show them” attitude which sometimes feeds their creative fires even more, and they wind up becoming extremely successful in their fields.

           

            Another child may react in a fearful manner and let their parent’s disapproval    

prevent them from developing the self confidence to pursue their dreams with the fervor and determination which are necessary to guarantee sustained success.  We say this is because in the second instance, this is not the first time the child has been discouraged from pursuing such a dream.  In this repeat experience the child’s soul and heart may have been so wounded and damaged that, although possessed of enormous talent and creativity, they can become nearly impotent when it comes to pushing outward and confronting the outer world to do what they need to do in this particular lifetime regarding their art and dreams.

           

            This is where past life regressions can be helpful and very informative.  Some deeply creative souls have intense blocks and fears which prevent them from ever fully realizing their dreams.  It is even more frustrating for them when they see less talented people gravitate almost naturally towards people who believe in and help them attain their goals.  Although it can be very painful to relive a former painful life where ones creativity was shunned and rejected, it can be a part of the healing process to gain the understanding that comes from learning the origin of emotional blocks, and fears.  When there is rage involved, chances are that the soul has struggled intensely in more than one recent past life which resulted in further stifling of their creativity and a sense of hopelessness, loss, and failure. 

           

            Some tortured souls have so much struggled unsuccessfully in a past life that they are born in the next life with a gloomy or angry disposition.  Again, we say, it is not only they who are enraged and despondent.  Much of their deep depressions belong to other “I’s”.  This is especially true when the depressions are intense, chronic, dark and sometimes even threaten one’s sanity and grip on reality, and can lead to brooding thoughts of suicide.  We have so much compassion and love for such tortured souls because they are lost wandering souls to a great degree.  Deeply full of passion, their soul hungers for artistic fulfillment and creative outlets, but having so many deeply rooted complexes and fears stemming from unconscious past life memories which haunt and torture them, they often are at a loss or ability to reach any satisfaction or personal happiness.

           

            Everyone feels stressed out so to speak at times and can suffer from bouts of doubt, confusion and depression.  It is natural to feel torn at times within the self regarding decisions to be made or goals to pursue.  One way to help the splits within the self to heal is to become aware of the “I’s” which are involved in the struggle.  Knowledge is power as the saying goes.  Past life regressions and readings can be helpful to provide missing information to help explain a particularly difficult lifetime whose pain and struggle cannot be explained in terms of childhood or environmental influences in this lifetime. 

 

            Many people feel like a Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde at times and pray for relief from such inner turmoil and conflict.  Not only can the inner selves be contrasting and opposite in their dispositions, likes and dislikes, they can also have a like or dislike or even repulsion to the other “I’s” within the self.  To heal the rifts it is necessary to put these “I’s” in contact and communication with each other.  This can be a long and arduous task but it is worth the efforts.  The soul wishes that the I’s merge and compliment one another and is willing to act as the mentor to the different selves.  Like a loving parent who only wishes the best for their children, the soul wishes to guide the selves and to help them find satisfaction and fulfillment, no matter which life times they make an impact.

           

            To illustrate this, we would like to once more refer to Michael as an example since he is aware of many inner selves and has been trying fervently for years to come into wholeness and to heal his wounded inner selves.  In college Michael pursued a dream  to sing opera.  He made some strides but due to fear and anxieties about being able to manifest and sustain an artistic career in music he gave up the dream and went on to become a teacher.  During this time he explored his interest in writing and once again his creative fires brightly burned and the yearning to become a professional author began to burn in his soul.  He pursued this dream for a few years and even gave up his teacher career to pursue his writing dream.  As with the music dream, he made certain strides, then found himself losing heart.  Little by little procrastination became more a way of life for him until at some point most of his writings were put on the shelf  which has been the sad story of many aspiring artists and writers.        

 

            Somewhere during that time Michael decided to have a past life reading.  His most recent past life came up in the reading where he had been a struggling female Impressionist painter.  After several unsuccessful years at being at able to establish himself/herself as a painter, she gave up on that dream and spent the rest of her life as a recluse.  “All that creativity just went down the drown and she died a very lonely and bitter unfulfilled woman,” the Psychic told him, “how sad.  So much talent and potential just went to waste.

           

            “But such energy and passion does not die,” she continued.  “It was shoved in the domain of the subconscious mind.  Buried hopes and dreams do not stay buried.  If not allowed to give self expression they fight back with a vehemence and can unloose fierce

rage that can be very dangerous and detrimental of not fatal to the person who has driven them down and repressed them.”

           

            Michael sat there with his mouth hung open because most of his life he felt engulfed by a rage he could not attribute to events experienced in this lifetime.  He recalled a night looking at the moon when he was studying opera in New York, and he tried to write some poetry. “I feel so creative and have such a deep need to create, but I am so blocked,” he cried out.  “I just can’t get to the block of whatever is holding me back from my creativity.”  He spent several years living like this.

           

            The past life reading showed him that one of his “I’s”, his most recent lifetime as a woman, was a very powerful influence in his life.  He fought with this part of himself for years, and still has struggles with this self he calls Bernice.  There was one particularly painful regression where Michael, in his lifetime as Bernice, had spent long months working on a painting.  She even would go without food and clothing to be able to buy paints and supplies.  This one painting she felt would make the difference.  The painters would accept her this time, she told herself.  This work was too good to be ignored.  So she scrounged about and ate what crumbs and food she could find, borrow, or steal then dressed up in her best attire and took her paintings to some showings.  Those in charge looked at her painting then told her to go back home and concentrate on finding a husband and raising a family.  She broke down and burst into a fit of hysteria.  She nearly destroyed her painting and she vowed to never paint again.  That last disappointment and rejection was the last straw for her.  From that day on she loathed her own art and cursed herself for having the ability to paint.

           

            The psychic was correct in telling Michael that such energy and passion do not die, and when they are repressed, denied, and ignored they strike back with a powerful vengeance.  Michael has dealt with the same chronic depressions and apathy regarding his writing.  One of his greatest fears is that no one will appreciate his art or care to hear what he has to say. This fear has been one of his biggest stumbling blocks in getting his writings published and accounts for much of his depression and apathy he has experienced and still does in this lifetime.

           

            However, learning about this tortured past lifetime has also empowered him and reminded him of his need to work through his fears and hurts carried over from that lifetime.  He has made strides with his writing and has a long way to go.  There have been times when he felt paralyzed and half possessed by this inner self, Bernice, and he has done a lot of inner battle with her.  He has given into his fears and doubts many times, but his creative fires never completely die.  His passion and love for creating is part and parcel of his soul and his connection to the divine.  It will never let him totally shove it down or drive it away.  Like a shadow it follows him wherever he goes, and when he ignores it for too long, he finds himself enduring onslaughts of depression and what he calls the “blahs.”

    

            It is during these blahs and depressions that he finally breaks down and makes some efforts to tend and stir his creative fires once more.  Every time he does so, the depressions immediately diminish.  Still, the old hurts and fears of rejection are deeply imbedded.  They do not heal and go away over night. 

           

            He came back as a man to overcome those fears and to attain the artistic success and fulfillment he was denied and deprived in his life as Bernice.  An interesting thing

came up in one of the regressions.  “If only I were a man, I’d get the recognition I’d deserve,” he said, while speaking through hypnosis as Bernice.  So, his soul honored this belief and he incarnated as a man.  However, such deeply imbedded beliefs have nothing to do with being either a man or a woman.  It has been ever bit as difficult for him as a man to create the success he yearns for.  He now realizes that it is his own beliefs and fears that hold him back and limit his creativity and success, and he is working on healing the old hurts and pains.

           

            We assure him and all of you that your very SOUL is your greatest friend and guide.  It has the power and strength to help you attain your goals and wishes.  It can show you who you have been and explain the blocks and obstacles that hinder you in your growth in this lifetime, and offer insights and the means to move past the darkness to the light.  Michael is the first to admit that “This art thing has been both ecstasy and torture for me in this lifetime.”  And he has vowed to somehow work through it so he can heal and move on to other things.  The desire and will to heal are the first steps.  The call compels the response.  This is a natural law that applies to everyone. 

           

            It is easy to want to give up, to repeat the old behavior patterns from the past are what seem natural.  But it is imperative that each soul make efforts and ever struggle to move beyond the blocks and obstacles that hinder them from their personal evolution towards ascension and freedom from all limitation. 

           

            Others have similar or different struggles.  Personal love is a “biggie” down there on the earth for many of you.  Some of you yearn so deeply to find the love of your life and agonize in confusion and desperation because you cannot seem to find or

attract them.  We say that this is because you, or one of you, is not ready to attract someone.  You may think you are ready, but one of the other “you’s” may not be ready or even willing to meet someone.  This dichotomy is very common on terra and explains why many people go through life alone and lonely.  In order to meet the special love of your life it is important to do some inner work and come into contact with the you who is blocking your true love from your life.  Some people truly have a deep fear and mistrust  of men or women or even hatred.  They may or may not be conscious of it.  Some are open and honest enough to admit that they think men are women are “jerks” or other choice words, as is a common expression.  They may have a slight desire or wish that they could open up and let their guard down, or they may have been so hurt by someone/s in this life that they choose to stay shut down emotionally and bar themselves from relationships where they would risk being hurt again.

           

            Others are not conscious of their distrust or dislike of men or women.  Life for these souls can be more miserable than the former mentioned because there is missing information which causes the dichotomy or split within the selves that accounts for their inability to attract a relationship. 

           

            Michael spent years yearning for the ideal relationship and nearly lost his wits being so frustrated at not being able to attract anyone.  Finally, in exasperation and desperation, he gave up, and underwent therapy and some past life work.  There, he came into contact with his inner self, Bernice, who had a deep hatred of men.  When he let himself regress to this life, and let Bernice talk, she would rant and rave and curse men saying they were the cause of most of the ills of the world, and that they only used and hurt women and only cared for themselves.  The ranting and cursing went on.

His therapist, who also practiced hypnosis and past life therapy, showed Michael how to dialog with this inner self and to hear her point of view.  It was vital that she not be denied her feelings and her say.  Slowly, but surely, the healing process began and he has been able to release much of his anger and distrust of men.  But had he not done the inner work and met this other “I”, he would still be wondering why he could not attract the ideal man and could die a bitter man just as he died a bitter woman as Bernice. 

           

            In one particularly intense session, Michael asked his Bernice self why men seemed to run from and avoid him and why his relationships always ended in disappointment and heartbreak.  “Because I hate men,” Bernice screamed.  “They are jerks, good for nothing scoundrels who only want what they can get from a woman without giving anything in return.  I hope every single man on the planet dies and rots in Hell.  I hate them.  I hate them all,” she continued.  “It is because of men that I have been denied the recognition I deserve, and all because of their ignorance and insistence that a woman has no right to compete in a so called man’s world.  I wish every man would disappear and never show up again.”

           

            Needless to say, Michael was rather surprised and taken aback at such an outburst.  Then his therapist pointed out how he had a tendency to entice and draw men to him, then strike back and reject them.  “You expect them to use and reject you, so you do them in so to speak before they can hurt you,” she went on.  “You have a very deep seated belief that men are out to hurt you, so you drive them all away to protect your tender heart and vulnerable soul.  “I guess I do scare them away,” he later said.  Learning about that life as Bernice was a big breakthrough for Michael and realizing where his old fears and hurts came from, he then was free to choose to work on moving past those fears and hurts and allow the healing process to take place. 

           

            One learns how to dialog with and even take on the other selves and to have a relationship with them just as a parent relates to a child.  In a sense your other selves are your children, and it’s important to give them time, love, and attention.  It’s also important to be strict with them and set boundaries at times.  This is all part of the healing process.       

 

            We hope this information is helpful to those who seem to always sabatoge their relationships.  We recall a woman who came to Michael for a reading. “I always sabatoge my relationships,” she said.  “Every time I meet a good man, I wind up scaring him off.  Why do I do this?  I had a decent childhood.”  In the reading it came out that she had been abandonned in several lifetimes by men and had a deep mistrust at the subconscious level.  Once she allowed herself to relive some of that experience, she had the knowledge which explained her inappropriate behavior in this lifetime towards men.   

             

            So while you may insist that you are ready to meet the love of your life and challenge destiny or anyone who would suggest the contrary, we are adamant in our assertion that if you are going through life unable to attract love, there is some belief system operating at some level of your being, be it conscious or unconscious that is blocking this.  Perhaps going back and rereading our little essay, “On Love” will give you  some insight and useful information.

           

            Hopefully by now we have convinced you of the benefits of contacting your multiple selves.  This is a soul enriching experience which can lead you to wholeness, fulfillment and happiness.  You can only love or know another person to the extent you allow yourselves to know and love yourself.  This is brings us back to the earlier question of why is it so difficult for mortals to love thyself?

           

            The reason people have a difficult time loving themselves and others at the most intimate levels they are capable of, is because they haven’t truly made contact with and bonded with their multiple inner selves.  Techniques such as hypnotherapy, dream analysis, Gestalt Therapy, Transactional Analysis, Psychotherapy and past life recall are all valid methods to contact these different selves.  To do so does not mean you will go crazy and spend hours talking to your self/selves such as you can hear on a mental hospital ward.  We say you can meet your inner selves without losing your mind or connection to your present personality. 

           

            On the contrary, meeting the inner multiple selves is to contact deeper layers and levels of your own soul and psyche.  It will take nothing away from your present sense of self, but rather will enhance and expand your being, infusing you with greater creativity, knowledge, and wisdom.  You will become more of yourself and as a result will cease feeling dead inside, alienated, or bored and out of touch with yourself.  In other words, when you meet your multiple selves through meditation, hypnosis, creative visualization or other methods you will become more complete and whole.  For you cannot love another until you love yourself and you cannot love yourself until you know your self.  And as we have emphasized constantly in this little talk, there is more than one self contained within your precious, great being.

           

            It is a marvelous adventure to get acquainted with the multiple selves both positive and negative, and untimately a necessary process in your evolution.  Meeting what would some refer to as the darker or less loving selves does not doom one to become a victim of their dark side.  On the contrary, to meet, accept, and love the negative selves as well as the positive selves is part of the integration process.  Your famous move “Star Wars” illustrates this vividly when Luke Skywalker chooses to confront his father Darth Vader.  He knew there was good in Darth Vader although others disbelieved it.  He had the courage to meet the dark side, and by doing so he freed Darth Vader from his bondage to evil.  This in a sense is a metaphor for the integration process.  To become whole one must embrace the dark as well as the light.  Shamans and medicine men/women know this very well and gladly do so.

           

            We say be not afraid of your multiple selves.  They are your teachers, friends and guides and influence you whether you believe in and accept them or not.  If you become are of and honor them, welcoming them to your inner family circle, you will begin to experience wholeness and balance.  You will still meeting your shadows or unloved unconscious selves through other people.  When you dislike something intensely about someone it is usually because they are mirroring one of your unaccepted unloved selves you are unconscious of.  If you do not deal with your shadow negative selves you will project them onto others and be irritated, haunted and even tortured by them.  Or they might even visit you in dreams or nightmares. 

           

            For example, Michael was intimidated by strong women for a very long time.  He especially had a difficult time with those of the scorpio energies and dispositions.  One of

his spiritual teachers pointed out that he was only afraid of strong women because he was afraid of the strong woman inside himself.  When he did some inner work and became more acquainted with some of the women characters inside him, and began to allow them self expression, his fear of strong powerful women subsided.

           

            We end by encouraging you to take the journey within and meet your multiple selves.  Get to know them as you would a person.  Learn their likes and dislikes, their moods and talents.  Learn to set boundaries and limitations on the negative ones while still accepting and loving them the same way a parent deals with a rebellious, mischievous child.  Doing this will give you a stronger sense of self and the ability to deal with yourself/selves much more profoundly and lovingly.  Embrace yourself/selves and then you will be able to embrace all humanity, animals, and nature for you are indeed part of all life, as all life is part of you.

 

Channeled by the El Morya “M” Circle

through Michael on November 17, 1993

Revised November 2002